Me, myself and David

I thought that some of you would maybe want to know a little bit more about me and little bit about David..  

Me;

This is my first blog (you can maybe see that) even though this is something I have wanted to do for a little while. When I was younger I always told my things and feelings into a diary. I still have them, and sometimes I read them and think to myself how easy the life was back then. The biggest problem was that somebody had stole my teddy bear or my favorite shoes had broken or something like that. I didn’t have to think about work or have any responsibilities, just get out of bed in the morning and go to play outside with friends.. That was life.

Now, I work one of the biggest security companies in the world, have much more responsibilities than other that are working at the same building. I work almost every day and I really like my job. People are nice and friendly and everybody gets along with one and another. 


David;


 

So, David is 10 years older than me but we have the same “spirit”. We like the same thing, the same movies, same type of music and even the same type of books… He lives and breathes the security (if know what I mean) He was few years ago in Afghanistan and before that in Africa doing private security jobs.. Now when he has been home the last few years, I feel that all he talks about is how he wants to go again..  Now he works two or three jobs at the same time.. That is the biggest reason why we don’t have so much time for each other.. 

How we are now..

Things have change really quickly, it’s been very good year. Me and David moved in together, and most of the time I’m really happy. Hi brings me flowers almost every week, roses red or pink.  I make him food and hi thanks me for it every time. We have same friends now and we like to do many things together..

But that’s the thing. We don’t have the time. It’s like we just sleep together and eat together.  Sometimes it’s like we have just one day in two weeks for us. First it was fine, we were so in love so I didn’t mind if we saw each other just in work and at night when we just ate and went to sleep.  Then things change, the days hi was not working hi went out whit his friends and didn’t spend so much time with me as I hoped. Sometimes I was really mad to him, and thought to myself that “I’m not going to say anything to him when he gets home..” But when he came home, I was just so happy to see him that I forgot all about the anger..

Sometimes I feel he wants to be more with his friends than with me. And I kind of understand it but of course it makes me feel sad and lonely when I just see him when we are going to sleep. Even though we work at the same place, we don’t see each other very often.  And it’s ok for me, I feel that can do my job better when his not around. But when we are working at the same time I feel that he doesn’t even see me, hi is just talking to everybody else (most of them are females) and I feel like that hi is totally ignoring me. 

One of our coworker, Carol, is very nice and friendly but sometimes I feel that they have a little bit more going on that just friendly conversation. Usually they are just teasing each other and touching each other but that is the thing. When hi is just ignoring me and at the same time teasing and touching somebody else it makes me feel like I’m nothing to him. Just someone how is making food for him and sleeping at the same bed… Usually hi doesn’t say anything to me whole day, except hi when I come in, but when we get home hi ask how was my day and stuff like that. 

 But then there is the thing that I really don’t like, hi doesn’t tell me if he has another plans with his friends and then I just worry about him. I just wait him to get home, but usually when he does he goes straight to shower and then to bed. I feel that we just don’t have the time for each other anymore.

Sometimes I think, is this the life I want for me. Is this the one that I want to marry and maybe have children someday.. Sometimes I think of leaving, but then I feel so bad that I can’t even think of the empty feeling and that I would have to go back to the place I was when I started at the new job, how I was so lonely and like a ghost in the empty house.. I don’t want that...

How we met..

10/2011

I had just started my new job. I didn't know anybody and i was kind of lost. I had just moved in to new apartment, and i didn't know how to be alone in the house. After night shifts i just wandered around the streets and didn't really go anywhere. In the night i felt so lonely and didn't think that things are going to change any time soon.. I was wrong... 

After a few months on the job, my coworkers take me to a sport bar and we'd talked and talked and everybody was getting drunk. After a while we left the bar and decided to go to another place which was a gross the street. There was lot of young people and i felt that i didn't fit in... We sat in a small table and everybody else where talking and laughing, having fun. I sat on the table and thought to myself that this wasn’t me, am not like this. After a while i decided to go home, i left the table and walked to the door... But something stopped me, i felt warm hand in my back and i knew right away who that was... It was David. David was very nice looking guy, about ten years older than me. I had a secret crush on him, but i never thought that my fantasy would come true.
There he was, holding my hand. I couldn't say anything, i just watched him when he came closer...

Next day i woke up in his bed. We had left the bar together and ended up to his place. I felt so good in his arms, but i had to get up because i had to go to work. When i left the room i had to turn back to see his face once more. He looked like a little innocent child when he was sleeping.

 Whole day i thought about him and that if it was just like a one night stand or was it something more. When i left work i was sure it was just a one night thing and that i didn't never again have the chance to see his sleeping face or feeling his touch on my body. I went home and i was mad to myself, that i was so stupid to think that David saw nothing in me. I was just a pretty face who had fallen into his bed. I was mad that i had to face him the next day at work...

And the day had come. I had to go to work and face David and just hope that he doesn't even remember what had happened the other day. I tried to be happy and smile but inside i felt just empty. Then i saw him... He was looking very good and when he walked past me he smiled at me. I was a mess, i didn't know what to think. Every time he walked past me he smiled.

After my sift i walked on the street and everything was like a big plur. Everyone how walked past me had no face. I wondered home and sat on the bed. Then ... my phone rings. It was a strange number so i didn't answer to it. Then the same person sends me a text. It was David... I had to read the message over and over again until i remembered the whole thing.  He was asking me out, i almost past out.

And that was it... First we just went to dinners and see a movie or somthing, but really quickly we were a couple...