Christmas is comming !

Oh I love Christmas, it’s the best time of the year! It’s the time when you be with your family and friends, eat lots of great food and everybody has time for each other. There is snow on the ground and everything... It’s so beautiful.

And of course before Christmas there is pre-Christmas party’s… This year I have two party’s to go on, first one is actually tomorrow.  Almost everybody at work is going; I’m maybe just a little bit worry about David… He is talking about the party almost every day and he is constantly telling me that he is going to drink as much as he can… And that’s a lot of booze. I kind of get it, because he is always working and sometimes he just wants to clear his mind of it. But I don’t want to be the babysitter, I want to have fun and not spend my evening to taking care of him… 

And yeah, Carol is coming there to… That should be interesting, I just hope that she can “play nice” so I don’t have to snap at her or anything like that. Because I know I will, I’m tired to watch the thing going on between of them…

I know that I sound very childish and immature and my self-esteem is hiding somewhere… And maybe you are right; I think very often that why David or anybody else would want to spend their lives with me when they could get somebody so much better. Why David is with me, why he loves me, or say that he loves me? Who knows…I don’t.

I’m jealous and I sometimes think that the playing around is something else that it really is… Or how do I know. If it is something more than just playing I think he wouldn’t tell me anyway…   

And somebody maybe thinks that if I don’t trust David, why I’m still with him? That’s because I love him… I love him so much it hurts and yes I want to say that I trust him, but I don’t trust the people with him…

Little bit about Carol..

Yeah, so I thought that I tell you a little bit more about Carol… 

So Carol is almost the same age as me, maybe just a few years older than me. She is friendly to everybody and I think that she is some kind of friend to me too.  She has long brown hair, green eyes and she looks very athletic. She have two dogs (and I mention it because David likes dogs and she and David talk about the dogs very often)

Usually when my and Carol are working at the same time, David doesn’t say or ask anything from me, he just talks with Carol. But when I’m the only one who knows about the “thing”, he still asks it from Carol and just maybe after that he asks it from me… (usually Carol is the one who asks me)

Now you maybe think that I’m just paranoid and jealous without any reason, and maybe I am. But sometimes when I walk into a room at work, the first thing I see is that David and Carol are “wrestling”... That makes me feel really uncomfortable.

 Almost the same thing happens when we are all going into a bar or the sport bar that I mentioned before. There David and Carol are just speaking to each other and playing around… But when we get home with David he is all like; “I love you, you are my girl” and stuff like that..

But why is he behave like that?? Any thoughts?

Date night

We had a date night yesterday… First we met at the center of the city, we walked around and we found a man playing saxophone… We just stood there holding hands, listening to the music. It was magical…

After that we went to a very nice restaurant downtown.. There were candles everywhere and fresh flowers in every table. We’d drink red wine and ate very good medium steaks and talked… just talked the whole night. We sat there almost three hours and when we finally where ready to go, we noticed that everybody else had already left. There was just the two of us (and of course the waiters). 

 

When we left the restaurant, we walked a long nice road in the moon light... 
I felt so happy and I think it was the best date night in my life so far..