How we are now..

Things have change really quickly, it’s been very good year. Me and David moved in together, and most of the time I’m really happy. Hi brings me flowers almost every week, roses red or pink.  I make him food and hi thanks me for it every time. We have same friends now and we like to do many things together..

But that’s the thing. We don’t have the time. It’s like we just sleep together and eat together.  Sometimes it’s like we have just one day in two weeks for us. First it was fine, we were so in love so I didn’t mind if we saw each other just in work and at night when we just ate and went to sleep.  Then things change, the days hi was not working hi went out whit his friends and didn’t spend so much time with me as I hoped. Sometimes I was really mad to him, and thought to myself that “I’m not going to say anything to him when he gets home..” But when he came home, I was just so happy to see him that I forgot all about the anger..

Sometimes I feel he wants to be more with his friends than with me. And I kind of understand it but of course it makes me feel sad and lonely when I just see him when we are going to sleep. Even though we work at the same place, we don’t see each other very often.  And it’s ok for me, I feel that can do my job better when his not around. But when we are working at the same time I feel that he doesn’t even see me, hi is just talking to everybody else (most of them are females) and I feel like that hi is totally ignoring me. 

One of our coworker, Carol, is very nice and friendly but sometimes I feel that they have a little bit more going on that just friendly conversation. Usually they are just teasing each other and touching each other but that is the thing. When hi is just ignoring me and at the same time teasing and touching somebody else it makes me feel like I’m nothing to him. Just someone how is making food for him and sleeping at the same bed… Usually hi doesn’t say anything to me whole day, except hi when I come in, but when we get home hi ask how was my day and stuff like that. 

 But then there is the thing that I really don’t like, hi doesn’t tell me if he has another plans with his friends and then I just worry about him. I just wait him to get home, but usually when he does he goes straight to shower and then to bed. I feel that we just don’t have the time for each other anymore.

Sometimes I think, is this the life I want for me. Is this the one that I want to marry and maybe have children someday.. Sometimes I think of leaving, but then I feel so bad that I can’t even think of the empty feeling and that I would have to go back to the place I was when I started at the new job, how I was so lonely and like a ghost in the empty house.. I don’t want that...